Weight Loss Journey #1

I was a skinny kid up until age 12. Once puberty hit it was all over and I started piling on the pounds.  I was never fat though--I was only a size 10 all through high school.  I thought I was a cow, mainly because my little sister was (and continues to be) a size zero, while my mother was a svelte size 4. Bra shopping was the worst thing in the world. While they didn't even really need one, my boobs were growing out of bras too fast to keep up.  (Currently a 36DD.)

Looking at me in my prom dress my senior year, I was lovely (even if I had terrible hair).  Since then, though I have steadily gained. I am 5' 2" and 166 at my last weigh-in (I step on a scale once a month when I visit my grandma).  Size 14.  Still not obese, but definitely on my way.

My knees hurt. I can't run.  Standing for a 4 hour shift at work exhausts me. Combined with my bust, normal clothes don't fit me.  Both of my parents have heart disease. My mother's brother died of it at the age of 38.  My father's brother had a double bypass just last year. Multiple members of my family are diabetic.  My genes are stacked against me, and I can't go making it worse.

I've decided that calorie counting is a good way to start with my weight loss.  Today was the first day I tried it and holy cow, I eat a lot of calories in the form of chocolate. I never thought I ate that much, but damn.  I am incredibly hungry today, and went exactly even on the projected amount of calories I can eat and maintain a weight loss of 1 pound a week.  (Using an app called "Lose It" to keep track of diet and exercise.)

Almost a third of my calories were made up of junk food--I had no clue I was eating that much. The sugar in my tea (a modest one teaspoon) came to 58 calories alone after 4 cups.  Knowing this is great--tomorrow I will adjust to eat more real food.  All of my 'meals' came to only 300 calories each, which is pretty good. I'm going to try to eat more dairy tomorrow, and less sugar.  I think a big serving of beans is in order too, because there wasn't a lot of protein in my diet today.

When I mentioned I was doing this on one of my twitter accounts I automatically had people tell me that it wasn't a good idea. That I was going to get paranoid, that I would feel bad about what I ate.  Well, that's kind of the point. I should feel ashamed of myself for eating half a batch of cookie dough without baking even one. After day one I'm hungry and a little depressed, but I will make better food choices tomorrow and I know that in a few months it will all be worth it.